So i was having dinner with a friend of mine, and he was telling me about a friend of his who recently got married but was already fed up and was thinking of calling it quits. I asked why and he said because they recently had a baby but her husband is always coming home late. I asked if he has always been coming home late, he said Yes, because he has an evening Job. So again i asked what exactly the problem was?
See here is my thing, Did she marry him while he had a night time job? yes… Did he used to come home late before they got married? yes… So what exactly is the problem? My question exactly. This got me to thinking.. do we really know what we are signing up for when we walk down that aisle? When we say ” for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part” do we really take time to understand the gravity of that kind of commitment? If you are going to run just as soon as you hit the first bump in the road then marriage is not for you and by all means don’t indulge. Take for instance this scenario, she married the guy well aware that he had a night time job and he always went out after work for a drink or two but still went ahead to marry him and now suddenly its such a huge problem that she feels the need to file for divorce? What happened to Love unconditional? Love is patient, kind and bears all things, the good and the bad when he is at his worst is when you should love him most. Not to sound mean or anything but if you marry someone who lives their life a certain way and expect them to change just because they are now married to you without prior discussion and agreement, you my friend are being delusional.
I am no marriage expert but i know that People don’t change, if anything they change for the worse. Even when they change, its not overnight its a gradual process, so i think its selfish to automatically assume that someone will change drastically because they are now married. It takes a while to grow on you, there must be stages undergone for someone to fully embrace their new partner and the lifestyle that comes along with that commitment. So what am I saying, take time to think about your actions and the path you choose to take in life. Every action has an equal but opposite reaction, so get ready to face the music, deal with the consequences as they come. Every stage in life has obstacles and challenges but its the fight to get through them alive that makes it more interesting and meaningful. So by all means think carefully before you tread along the path you choose to take.
XoXo
Tanya Love
I agree with you that when people make the decision to get married they know what they are getting themselves into, but what happens to COMPROMISE? surely Love isn't selfish, it's not self seeking, it does not dishonour others,it always hopes and perseveres. It's not that she didn't know who she got married to, it's just that she thought he would compromise because marriage is all about making situations better for each other...a slow process to change doesn't happen in a marriage, it happens prior to the marriage. Therefore when she expects him to change sooner than later, she's only expecting what rightfully ought to be done or should have been done.
ReplyDeleteTrue what you say...compromise is part of it...however my issue was her "thinking" he would change and maybe he has changed just not how she envisioned it. So my thing is instead of making assumptions, discuss the expectations before hand. That way if they falter then you can call them up on their word.
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