So Yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend about how Deitrick Haddon divorced his wife and married someone else a few months after their divorce. When he married this new wife of his, they had a one year old child. Now most of you are wondering why this was a topic of discussion or why it would even raise my eye-brows, but that’s because you probably don’t know that Deitrick Haddon is a pastor. More than that he and his now ex-wife were successful gospel artists. Not just that but they were also somewhat a role model couple for this day and age where marriages can’t seem to last a minute and theirs lasted a whole 15years.
Cause of divorce? The wife “allegedly” cheated on him with another gospel artist who I will not mention because this post is not about him. I say “alleged” because she is yet to issue an official statement on whether the allegations are true or false. A year later, she is till silent about it, and yet the ex-husband keeps going on and on about it. But, again; that is not the point of this post. So you’re wondering what am bickering on about? Well here it is. While I was alarmed that a pastor would divorce his wife, my friend’s reaction couldn’t even be more alarming. His brilliant response was “what did she expect? She cheated!” ‘how about
forgiveness’ I thought to myself
Appalled by his judgement, I asked him “do you consider yourself a Christian?” and sadly he said yes. I say sadly because it’s saddening that a Christian would jump to passing judgement or punishment for another person’s crime forgetting that their own sin and judgement would be greater If God didn’t have mercy on them. It’s so easy to identify ourselves as Christians and yet not as easy to be Christ like. You see we forget that the reason we are Christians is because we are saved by Christ, and are called by God to be like Christ. That means forgiveness, loving one another and understanding that we are all sinners and we would all perish but for the grace of God that He accorded to us through Christ, that while we were still sinners He died for us.
Now don’t get me wrong, am not here to give a sermon. That is not my intention and neither is it the point of this post. My point is this, I don’t believe in divorce. And contrary to what the world has made us believe, God hates divorce. Now my friend kept arguing that the Bible allows divorce under the circumstances that the wife cheats on her husband a Man is allowed to grant his wife a certificate of divorce. While this may be true, the verse after adds that if you divorce and go on to marry another, you commit adultery, which in my opinion makes you no different than your significant other who you divorced for cheating. As difficult and impossible as it may seem, God wants you to be able to forgive your spouse, yes even when they have cheated and work it out. That’s why it’s till death do us part, not till infidelity do us part. I have always said if you don’t have the heart for it, don’t indulge!! I see people raising their eyebrows like “what is she on about” and to you I will say this, If God had thought divorce is as okay as we make it, He wouldn’t tell Hosea whose wife was not only unfaithful, but turned into a prostitute, to go back to her and not just forgive her, but also pay her bride price again and take her again as his wife. Keep in mind Hosea was no Jesus. So tell me, if Hosea could forgive his wife for becoming a prostitute, why can’t a pastor who is supposed to live by example, the gospel he preaches of forgiveness, grace and second chances, forgive his wife for allegedly cheating? And If Christ who was without sin can forgive us all of our sin; even forgive those who crucified Him, why then is it so hard for sinners to forgive fellow sinners? I will tell you why, because it’s easier to be a Christian than it is to actually be Christ like.
I see the critics telling me not to judge, but am not judging, and neither am I condoning the infidelity, but you see, being a Christian is more than having a happy and perfect life because we are imperfect and are only made perfect in God’s love. Its choosing the difficult way out so as to fulfil God’s will. It’s forgiving when someone doesn’t deserve it, Loving when they are not worthy, turning the other cheek even when it would be more humanly fulfilling to hit back, its humility, its grace, its patience, kindness and perseverance because It’s through our trials and testing of our faith that God’s mercy, power and grace are manifested. Divorce is saying “I want what’s best for me” and not “am trusting God to accomplish his will for me.” Anyway this is a sensitive subject but know this, when you divorce you are not only breaking the vow to your spouse, you are also breaking the covenant you made with God.
May God continue to guide us as we walk in His path, as He did say that it wouldn’t be easy but that He would provide for us a means to overcome the obstacles of the world. May we not conform to the ways of the world, but may we instead be transformed in the renewing of our minds.
Here is to a divorce free generation...
Till next time