Facebook woes....



I recently got off face book…I used to be so attached to it I never thought a day would come and I would live without checking it out. But alas, the day finally arrived. I originally got off because there were some people I didn’t want to be relating with but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to delete them. So I decided to do away with it all together. But after about a week of not being tempted to check it out, I realized I didn’t really miss it so I kept going another week, trying to see how far I would take it and before I knew it a month was past. I started to reflect, on my whole entire existence on face book, and how exactly it had added value to my life… I couldn’t find one… I did however come to the realization that there I was sharing a part of me with all these people that I hardly knew on a personal basis. (I had 356 friends). I remember meeting a guy and he asked me if I was related to Tanya Love, because I had told him my name was Dianne, and after I told him that was me he said; “eh you really like having fun”. This Isn’t a bad thing as I do like to have fun, but that’s not I’m all about. I started to wonder what kind of perceptions strangers had of me by just out my profile. Isn’t it amazing; the things people can find out about you from your face book? Just think about it, the status updates we write say something about us, the things we share, the photos we post they are all a revelation of a part of who we are. It got me thinking, people really take face book seriously. I mean there is more to my life than those pictures in the mall, at the beach, out in the club or whatever, and yet it doesn’t occur to these strangers that I don’t take pictures while am fixing a computer, or singing in the church choir on Sunday, or reading a book, or visiting the doctor. From my profile one could easily come up with a conclusion that I live the “diva” life as my friends call it, but what they don’t know is that I have insecurities like everyone else, I worry about being accepted socially, about being judged unfairly, the list is endless. They don’t know that I can be an emotional wreck, a hot mess; Yes I do get bad hair days, chipped nails, and uncoordinated outfits especially when am having a bad day or going through a phase, you could call it a healing process and they don’t know that I can be demanding or “complex” as some people have referred to me. Generally people who check out my profile and don’t know me on a personal level don’t know that there is a whole other side to me.  Am always telling people not to care what the world thinks and just do what they want to do and yet I can’t even take my own advice. I struggle with this every day; my vulnerabilities and weaknesses. When they look at my profile they think “wow she’s happy, she’s fun and outgoing I want to be her friend” no one sees my pain, or brokenness. So I thought to myself…people should want to be my friend after knowing who I really am, not superficial all dolled up and fancy Dianne, but also loud, crazy, insecure, paranoid Dianne. There are always two sides to every story…and I think that people should get to know me first before coming to conclusions about who I am, or what I like basing on the few pictures I post on face book. For this reason, I doubt I will be going back anytime soon, as am enjoying the intrigue that comes with when you first meet a person and they ask you if you are on face book just so they can check you out and make conclusions about who they think you are…It aint happening boo…you are gonna have to check me out in person and make a personal assessment of who I am from how I relate with you, and not by how hot I look on face book….. Now let’s see who has the courage to dare…